Sunday, December 10, 2006
eZine Issue - Dec 2006
The Upside of Being Single: Annual Holiday Issue 2006 (Issue #23)
You CAN have a wonderful time over the Holidays, even without a significant other. My hope is that the ideas in this issue help you enjoy yourself more.
~~~Quotes on Friendship~~~
You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years trying to get other people interested in you." - Dale Carnegie
The only way to have a friend is to be one. - Ralph Waldo Emerson
~~~Change Your Thinking about Gifting~~~
In an effort to simplify the Holidays, while still enhancing friendships, here are some ideas for different ways to take care of yourself at the Holidays.
1. Make a no-gift exchange pact. (I’ve done this for years with some of my friends and family.) You and your friends know you care for each other without having to exchange gifts. Let's face it, sometimes what people give each other just adds to clutter. Don't think of this as a Bah Humbug attitude. You may be surprised at how many people are grateful for a way they can simplify their own holidays by having one less gift to buy.
2. Some of my friends, of course, don't like the no-gift pact idea. They enjoy the whole ritual of gift shopping, wrapping, and presenting. So we continue to exchange gifts. But I enjoy it more with the knowledge that they are truly getting pleasure from it, and aren’t just doing it because they feel it's their duty.
3. Consider a gift of your time, rather than a material item. Set dates with friends to do something you'll both enjoy. Eat out, shop, go to museums, drive in the country, or whatever. If you schedule it for January or February, you'll have something to look forward to during the post-Holidays letdown. This also takes the pressure off your busier-than-usual calendar in December. Now you'll have the pleasurable anticipation of a fun adventure. And the time you spend together will probably deepen your friendship.
~~~Travel Therapy~~~
If your friends are away or busy with their families, take a little trip yourself. Afraid you’ll be lonely? I truly find that I meet more people when I travel alone.
Treat this as a little reconnoitering trip. Take a camera and a travel journal with you so you can record your adventures. Then whet the interest of your friends when you get together after the Holidays. Then you can start planning your return trip at a time when others can join you. Have you ever discovered a place, and your first thought is of a friend who would like it? Well, consider that you’re doing your friends a favor by scoping out possibilities for future trips together.
If you just can’t get away right now, do the research on the Web, in the library, or with a travel agent. Then you can present your friends with ideas on where to go in the future. If you’re like me, your spirits will rise just with the anticipation of a trip.
~~~A Cultural Events Cornucopia~~~
A recently divorced friend treated herself to to a play, a concert, and the movies with different friends over a three-day period. This was highly unusual, given her usual frugality. But it was well worth it because of how good it made her feel - especially at a time that she might have otherwise felt alone and sad.
~~~A Game: Giving Gratitude~~~
Did Thanksgiving start you thinking of things you’re grateful for? I hope so. Here’s a tip for reinforcing your gratitude in a fun, festive way. Visualize, draw, or cut out pictures of gift-wrapped packages. On the packages, list things you love: names of friends and family you love, activities you enjoy, your good health, and surroundings that give you pleasure.
You CAN have a wonderful time over the Holidays, even without a significant other. My hope is that the ideas in this issue help you enjoy yourself more.
~~~Quotes on Friendship~~~
You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years trying to get other people interested in you." - Dale Carnegie
The only way to have a friend is to be one. - Ralph Waldo Emerson
~~~Change Your Thinking about Gifting~~~
In an effort to simplify the Holidays, while still enhancing friendships, here are some ideas for different ways to take care of yourself at the Holidays.
1. Make a no-gift exchange pact. (I’ve done this for years with some of my friends and family.) You and your friends know you care for each other without having to exchange gifts. Let's face it, sometimes what people give each other just adds to clutter. Don't think of this as a Bah Humbug attitude. You may be surprised at how many people are grateful for a way they can simplify their own holidays by having one less gift to buy.
2. Some of my friends, of course, don't like the no-gift pact idea. They enjoy the whole ritual of gift shopping, wrapping, and presenting. So we continue to exchange gifts. But I enjoy it more with the knowledge that they are truly getting pleasure from it, and aren’t just doing it because they feel it's their duty.
3. Consider a gift of your time, rather than a material item. Set dates with friends to do something you'll both enjoy. Eat out, shop, go to museums, drive in the country, or whatever. If you schedule it for January or February, you'll have something to look forward to during the post-Holidays letdown. This also takes the pressure off your busier-than-usual calendar in December. Now you'll have the pleasurable anticipation of a fun adventure. And the time you spend together will probably deepen your friendship.
~~~Travel Therapy~~~
If your friends are away or busy with their families, take a little trip yourself. Afraid you’ll be lonely? I truly find that I meet more people when I travel alone.
Treat this as a little reconnoitering trip. Take a camera and a travel journal with you so you can record your adventures. Then whet the interest of your friends when you get together after the Holidays. Then you can start planning your return trip at a time when others can join you. Have you ever discovered a place, and your first thought is of a friend who would like it? Well, consider that you’re doing your friends a favor by scoping out possibilities for future trips together.
If you just can’t get away right now, do the research on the Web, in the library, or with a travel agent. Then you can present your friends with ideas on where to go in the future. If you’re like me, your spirits will rise just with the anticipation of a trip.
~~~A Cultural Events Cornucopia~~~
A recently divorced friend treated herself to to a play, a concert, and the movies with different friends over a three-day period. This was highly unusual, given her usual frugality. But it was well worth it because of how good it made her feel - especially at a time that she might have otherwise felt alone and sad.
~~~A Game: Giving Gratitude~~~
Did Thanksgiving start you thinking of things you’re grateful for? I hope so. Here’s a tip for reinforcing your gratitude in a fun, festive way. Visualize, draw, or cut out pictures of gift-wrapped packages. On the packages, list things you love: names of friends and family you love, activities you enjoy, your good health, and surroundings that give you pleasure.
// posted by Jean Zartner at Selfnurture.com @ 3:51 PM 
